Thursday, May 01, 2008

Welcome to the Clan!

Y'all may remember my buddy, Ev. This is Ev-Daddy, cleverly disguised as his alter ego, "Georgia-Man," enjoying the Italian outdoors with his swarthy Italian friends, The Warren Beattys. Well, not only did Ev actually find a woman that could stand him, (with all due respect*, I think she must be mildly retarded) but he also made a small human with her. And since we are so enthused by small humans, here are some photographs offered as evidence that Ev is not gay, or at the very least, has a very good grasp of modern scientific procedures.

Mama, small human, and Ev, with Ev pretending to be nonplussed by said small human. I was actually disappointed that they did not have the Georgia touque properly installed on small human's head. Trust me, the "G" is most definitely on that touque, you just can't see it. Knowing Ev, they probably had to special order the diapers in red chino.

This is Mama, small human, and the cabana boy that they purchased to help with all of the menial tasks involved in taking care of said small human. Hopefully, the cabana boy has ADHD so he can stay up to all hours of the night to take care of small human. Those things possess the motor of David Pollack, small humans as well as ADHD cabana boys. (Obscure Georgia one-eyed football player reference, there.)

Living proof that Mama doesn't have to become a waddling cow when she is with child. Never again will I accept that old "I'm eating for two!" crap. Congrats to you all.

And I told Ev that the small human would decide to arrive in the wee hours of the morning because obviously in utero time is twelve hours off of normal business hours. I was right, as usual.

If you need illustrations on how you too can spawn, drop me an e-mail. I know how it is done.

* - Remember, when someone says "with all due respect" it gives them a free pass to insult you without hurting your feelings.