Sunday, July 27, 2008

Translation of "Maliki Stops Short"

In a New York Times feed post yesterday they said, "Iraqi Prime Minister Maliki stopped short of endorsing Barrack Obama."

Even though Maliki has come out and disputed their statement, the NYT stands by it because they think that their paper is relevant and they want Barry to win, even though he is wrong on every single issue that affects this country.

Here's eleven more stuffs that Maliki stopped short of doing, by those same standards.

1. Pulling out the karaoke machine and performing Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes' "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" with Barry.

2. Masturbating furiously on international television.

3. Guest hosting on Hee-Haw.

4. Taking the blue pill. (Remember, the blue pill allows you to continue your ignorant bliss. Fitting, huh?)

5. Literally coming from the future to save humankind.

6. Endorsing Coke over Pepsi.

7. Dying in the World Trade Center.

8. Being John Malkovich.

9. Actually reading The New York Times, as has everyone else in the world.

10. Endorsing Cynthia McKinney.

11. Playing Major League Baseball.

Add yours to the comments.

It just dawned on me that I have definitive proof for the Tinfoil Hat Brigade that the United States doesn't have the technology for mind control. If we did possess that capability, we could use it on Barry and force all his sheeple to walk into the ocean, never to return. And we could prove Darwin and Natural Selection to be right. Wait, maybe we do have that technology, do not want to prove Darwin right, and we have to let Barry's sheeple live to disprove the theory. Okay, maybe it is not definitive proof. Uh, nevermind.