Sunday, September 21, 2008

uSCCC Pregame Look

In my never ending desire to increase the readership of this here little blaggy posting site, I am taking the advice of one of my dedicated readers on the Left Coast and previewing a PAC-10 match-up. Ewwww, don't get that on you.

Image caption: uSCCC holds "Two a Days" in preparation to "Meat the Beaver(s)."

ed note: Juvenile humor in the same vein of the USC 'Cocks! Get it? In the vein....USC......'Cocks.......oh shit, am I funny or what?

Since this game is to be played on this cumming Thursday night, when most of their "metrosexual" fan bases are out in the Techno clubs dancing in the oil shower devices with their "friend" named Kevin, I post this today so they can get their money down early.

The 80% ATS trends on both teams are so contradictory as to not have any bearing. uSCCC is 5-0 after a win allowing less than 20 points. uSCCC is 4-1 on the last five road games. Oregon State is 7-0 ATS on their last seven games on turf. OS is 5-0 ATS in their last five home games. Well, you get the gist. Throw the 80%ers out.

There is no solid line out yet, but you can always get your money down early anyway.

uSCCC v. Oregon State (+13-20), who you got?

Please understand that this game is going to be awful, it pits the number six team in the PAC-10 versus the number eight team in the PAC-10. This is akin to watching the amateur bull riding championships LIVE! from Martha's Vineyard. Honestly, this is going to rank up there with the worst games ever played.

At least we do know how bad both teams are. uSCCC got their one quality win out of the way on opening day of the season, when they defeated that perennial powerhouse VIRGINIA. They followed that up with a win against tOSU. Honestly, they will play no one for the rest of the year that equals the talent found on the Virginia squad. Yet, they will continuously be ranked number one in the polls as long as morons are allowed a vote. And by "morons," I mean every single sports writer in the world. Dude, I love football, but it NOT because of the player's intelligence, nor the intelligence of someone that went to journalism school and then went on to become a sports writer. Promise.

The Match-up

Oregon State has garnered only one win this year, and it was over the D-IV school, Hawaii, that was coached last year by the only football mind that rivals Bear Bryant's in his awesomeness, June Jones. Just look at what Jones has been able to accomplish at SMU this year. A narrow win over the Texas State Bobcats. And Oregon State BEAT Hawaii this year!!!!!!

Look, you know that uSCCC is going to win this game, kinda like they beat The Cardinal <--s/arc at the end of last year, but by how much? The pregame spread is between 13-20, that tells me to take uSCCC, because seriously, Oregon State is even worse than uSCCC. I know, SEC Fan, that IS hard to believe, but it's true. And go with the Over if it is less than 60.

Happy now, Roderick?

Please take the time to comment.