Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Uh, Dear Mr. Contractor,

May I see you over by the plan table, sir? I really do not want to be any trouble at all, but may I ask, "What in the mortal Hell have you built here?"

*Click the image to see it large size, you need to do that.* Okay, the drawing shows a gable. Do you see that? Of course you do. The photograph shows a hip, do you see that? Of course you do. Oh, you say that you have never built a house before? Welp, you can certainly see that it was NOT built the way that it was drawn. You know, that drawing kinda shows you what to build.

No, no, no, I do not mind at all, there is no reason in the world that I took the time to actually draw this addition to Dr. Akeith's client's house. We never intended for you to build it the way that it was drawn. Oh, now that you point it out, I can certainly see why it is confusing to you, you know since it is right there on the damn page and supposedly you can read these drawings the way that they were intended. You know, maybe you could have called someone if you were not quite certain what the DAMN intent was.

The reason that we drew the thing like that is because that is what the rest of the front of the house looks like, sir. We didn't do it as a joke, there was a planned effect that is readily apparent to even the most inexperienced imbecile on the planet. You, sir, must not be from this planet.

*Click the image to see it large size, you need to do that.* Do you see the absolute absence of anything built in that area on the drawing? Of course you do. Do you see something built in the photograph in that area? Of course you do. Do you realize the changes to the roof necessary to actually cover that area that is NOT shown on the construction drawing? Well, let me tell you, you have two different roof slopes headed down to where the new NON-EXISTENT addition is actually built. In other words, you have two roofs that are dumping their entire area of rainwater onto the area that this new NON-EXISTENT portion of the addition has been added. Oh, no, that is NOT going to cause a problem AT ALL! The gushing water spout coming out of those valleys is not going to shoot eight feet out into the back yard, IF the roof can actually catch and direct that amount of water down a valley that has no slope to it. Nope, not a problem in the least, Mr. Contractor.

Great job, sir.

This post is to let you know, that everything has consequences. There is a philosophy from the jump and any changes affect the whole. NOTHING IS MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE IN ANYTHING.

Please take the time to comment.